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Short story discussion

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Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:05 am

I just thought I would start this so I can talk about it and get opinions on the story as it is thus far.

Also I figured I would talk about how the battles are decided.
Most of the battles are done on table top so it takes a while and it also helps me think of what will happen next, as the outcomes are not always favorable such as deaths that might happen.

so like in the fights that had been seen such as Kim's mate, had she been killed that would have altered the story even if it was a little, as it will have an impact later on.

Not too sure if that's how the actual writers do it but I find it adds some 'realism' to the story.

While others are writer's will ;).

The mech designs are normally done before the story, though some are actually older designs that I was able to touch up and use.

I have other mechs in the work that are old lvl 1 designs that are going to be altered to fit some other main Characters.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Steve Ronin » Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:04 am

your writing has always been good.

just be careful of MarySue characters.

part of what makes GRRM's writing so good is his willingness to kill off everyone.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Thu Mar 02, 2017 12:14 am

Aye, should 'Dart' die in a battle on the table top battles he will die in the story as well.
had to look up what Mary sue meant and I know now what not to do.

though I wonder, would Phaln Kell & Victor Davion be seen as a Mary Sue?
I ask because Pheln Kell took a Clan ER PPC to the face & Victor took a GR round to the head yet they both lived without a scratch on them.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Ravion Hawk » Thu Mar 02, 2017 11:36 am

Dart Omega wrote:...though I wonder, would Phaln Kell & Victor Davion be seen as a Mary Sue?
I ask because Pheln Kell took a Clan ER PPC to the face & Victor took a GR round to the head yet they both lived without a scratch on them.


Yup, they are classic Mary Sue characters.

BUT, certain characters can be integral to the story that you need to Mary Sue them just a little. Which instead of having them hit in the cockpit with a known head chopper, dumb it down a little to say a large laser or AC-10.

Victor was the Mary Sue of Mary Sues. He should have died from sheer stress about mid way into the Jihad.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Wed Mar 08, 2017 2:47 am

thought I would touch on the Foley real quick;
The Foley doesn't belong to the Blue Swords but to the FOIS, once in place the Swords will be leaving behind skeleton force and then move on.

The Foley is there to patrol the system and intercept any enemy force that wants to try and retake the planet.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Tue Apr 04, 2017 6:52 pm

many I had one heck of a writers block, came up with something fienly but not sure if I should use it or toss it.

trying to keep things flowing but man it is hard, I wonder if it is like that with writers who do that for a living?
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Steve Ronin » Sat Apr 08, 2017 11:25 pm

That is a question I ask of authors at every Con I attend.
Most of them keep notepads of ideas, one per story idea.

When I asked this question of Larry Correia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Correia),
he pulled 3 different notepads from his pockets.

At RavenCon, I observed John Ringo (http://www.johnringo.net/About.aspx) making notes while at an evening party.

TL:DR -- write down all your ideas, throw none away.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:02 pm

I wonder would it be above the House Laio to manipulate living things(animals and such) to make them deadlier(Not viruses) and would they release them to screw with an invading force?
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Ravion Hawk » Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:27 am

Dart Omega wrote:I wonder would it be above the House Laio to manipulate living things(animals and such) to make them deadlier(Not viruses) and would they release them to screw with an invading force?



I think that would be certain members who would do that. Not a family practice.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Wed May 03, 2017 10:41 pm

well updated the story, had to rewrite it so many times until I felt it was right.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Mon Jun 05, 2017 1:52 am

next update done.
sorry for such a long period of time in between updates.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Ravion Hawk » Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:38 am

Dart Omega wrote:next update done.
sorry for such a long period of time in between updates.


No worries...

I got back to work at the beginning of last month and been busy since.

Now Ronin on the other hand....

He's late for his update LOL.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Mon Jun 05, 2017 10:52 am

When I was writing it I was worried that it was too well 'mussy' or something unbecoming an officer and I think I almost had a Marry Sue moment with Dart and that was the last thing I wanted so I figured what the heck withdraw before that happened by mistake.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:43 pm

I added another section to the story, its on the short side though.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Steve Ronin » Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:35 pm

to quote "Uncle Orson" aka Orson Scott Card...

never try to force a chapter or add more to a perspective than what is easily understood.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Mon Jun 12, 2017 1:15 am

the latest chapter, was it too over the top?
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Dart Omega » Mon Nov 20, 2017 8:24 pm

Update,
My pc died a while back and have to use my old tablet which means i will have have to put on hold the story updates until I can get it fixed, I am sorry for the long delay.
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Re: Short story discussion

Postby Steve Ronin » Mon Dec 04, 2017 10:18 pm

no problem.
just keep an old fashioned writing pad nearby.
jot down those ideas when they come.
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